3 non-negotiables of women’s wellness
And why they AREN’T “Self-Care”
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There are many things in life that we can justify as self-care. The manicure I demand, to have organic food vs conventional (although people would fight me on that). Things like spa days and lemon water come to mind. But there are other forms of self-care as well: hiding in the bathroom from your kids, reading a book for fun, snuggling an adorable baby (that you didn’t make). But then there are just necessities in our life that we are now construing as self-care like we have an option to not do them.
I’m all for self-love, healthy bodies regardless of size, and treating yourself. But there are also a few things that I stand for that are non-negotiables. Hell, you may look at these and think duh. But after working exclusively with women for the past 4 years, there are a few areas where self-love and Health at Every Size have backfired. And before you exit, recognize that this is NOT some Jillian Michaels-infused bullshit that I’m about to spout from the rooftops. No, vaginal steaming will not be on this list.
Non-negotiable when it comes to women's health are:
Sleep. At some point, we have idolized those who function on low amounts of sleep. We dub these women superheroes. And they’re usually mothers of small children. But it turns out, they’re not superheroes, and they sure as shit aren’t functioning well. And if they think they are they’re lying. And you think you are “they”, you’re lying to yourself. Every human body demands sleep. For basic bodily function, sleep must occur. I have had clients come to me saying they want to lose 15 pounds, have regular periods, and have a sex drive. They tell me they’re doing everything right. They eat good food, hydrate, and move their body. But they "only need 4 hours of sleep at night". Let me clue you into what is probably going on. Hormones can’t do their job when you aren't sleeping. So what does our coaching program become? Sleep coaching.
Water. Hydration is another must for your health. Do you ever wonder why there are so many “hydration liquids” and “hydration drops” on the market? Because we don’t drink enough water. Sure, all water is contaminated with plastic now and we’re all going to die, but it turns out, that hydration is a massive money maker. Some of the biggest companies make popular hydration products: Coca-Cola, Nestle, Pepsi Co, etc. Guess what these companies also make? Beverages that are loaded with so much sugar a hummingbird could live off of it. These same companies that give you beverages to DEHYDRATE you are also the ones making money off you because of “wellness”.
Very few of us require electrolytes on a regular basis. Unless you're working out in 100-degree weather every day, you could probably get what you need from basic h20. But that isn’t sexy and you can’t really make money off of that (or post about it). And what do all women want? We want in on the wellness trends, even when we are “anti-diet”. People talk about how wellness is so expensive. It really isn’t. Buy a $30 Brita filter and just drink water. And don’t get me started on people who say they don’t like the taste of water. You have been taught to not like the taste by the same people who make the sugar-laden hydrating beverages. Give yourself a week of only drinking water and you won’t mind the taste so much. When women ask me what “water drops” to use to make it taste better, I roll my eyes. There isn’t one. If you REALLY can’t stand the taste of the fluid that takes up 60% of your body, add some diced strawberries to it, kiwi, or cucumber. You can use fruit and vegetables to give you a little flavor, but everything else is really a waste of your money.
Fruits and Vegetables. I have a friend who told me that she just doesn’t like vegetables. And to be honest, this baffles me. She is a 40-something woman, and parent, who doesn’t eat ANY vegetables. And this really just doesn’t work. Moment of truth: would I rather eat chocolate cake and pizza every day instead of a salad or roasted vegetables? Sure. But I would get really tired of it. At some point my body would have an adverse reaction, I’d get sick, stop having bowel movements, get headaches, my face would break out, and my rings wouldn’t fit. I would be a swollen, constipated, acne-covered mess. And that’s not even addressing the mental health concerns: my anxiety and depression would be out of control. Because I felt like a dumpster fire, I would have little patience for anything, especially my kids. And my sleep would be trash. And do you notice I don’t bring up weight gain? Weight gain wouldn’t be THE indicator of my poor HEALTH. It would be a by-product of my lifestyle - not the problem. And all of this that would happen to me, would probably happen to you too.
Women who have lived a life of consuming very little fruits and vegetables don’t even recognize these signs. They don’t talk about them or bring these concerns up to practitioners. They are sure as shit aren’t hiring me to fix their health. If anything, they complain about their weight and know they should eat fruits and vegetables to bring the scale number down. But they don’t even recognize the REAL red flags. They are so used to feeling the way they do, that they don’t even know it’s wrong. Fruits and vegetables in your life are 100% non-negotiable. The vitamins and minerals you get from them may be called micronutrients, but they are anything but small. What you get from fruits and vegetables is what stimulates cellular regeneration all through your body. Without these nutrients you are stuck. Your body is sluggish. Your organs aren't allowed to do what they need. Sure, you are “fueling” your body, but you also aren’t allowing your body to function the way it’s supposed to.
So what is the solution?
Your diet, hydration, and sleep are my top 3 non-negotiables in your life. There is no rhetoric here about your 30 minutes of daily cardio, step count, or pounds lifted (although physical activity is crucial). But tools for basic human functioning are simple: drink water, go the fuck to sleep, and eat some plants.
Eat plants: We live in a world that is built to make our lives easier. Quick doesn’t always equal better. And fruits and vegetables do not equal complex. You don’t need to buy only organic. You can buy frozen or canned. You should purchase fruits and veggies in whatever way your lifestyle and economic status allow. But when you think of long and healthy life, you should always think of fruits and vegetables, hydration, and sleep. And just like water, if you don’t like vegetables, give yourself 2 weeks. Suck it up for 2 weeks of removing sugar and salt-laden food from your everyday diet and eat a banana or broccoli. Your body and your taste buds will acclimate. They will recognize the nutrients that your body has been craving.
Get Sleep: The same goes for sleep. Start by trying to go to bed 15-30 minutes earlier. I promise you whatever you are working on or doing will still be available tomorrow. As you get accustomed to the earlier bedtime, dial it back a little bit more. Then get in the habit of going to bed and waking up around the same time each day.
Drink WATER: Just do it. Get a water bottle, fill it up with the free stuff and get to chugging. Shoot for 80ish oz of water a day. Start small if you aren't used to it. Start with 60 oz and slowly increase. And remember, you can get hydration from food too (fruit...and vegetables)
It’s not sexy. But wellness isn’t sexy. It’s finding what works and repeating it until the end of time. Do this with sleep, hydration, and fruits and vegetables.
